A Moment of Beauty

Florals by Great Lakes Floral Design & Co.

For three years now, I’ve stepped away from florals almost completely. Of course, I’ve done little arrangements here and there for our home or a friend, but other than maybe a handful of items, I have hardly touched flowers.

We’re not comfortable with it, but we have to know when to put things to rest for a little while - even the things we are good at.

I still do not know what it was in January of 2020 that made me say it was time to take a step back. Looking back, I see a few things that rise to the surface as the instigators of my stepping away, but no real answers. In any case, I put away my supplies and never opened the box back up.

Every couple of months, Chad has brought up this little business to me, gently asking if I ever think about it, reminding me of my gift, and kindly probing my mind and heart to see if I would ever be interested in doing them again. Always, I’ve said “no” without hesitation. It hasn’t been right in my bones. There have been too many other things, things that I have genuinely cared about and have felt like they deserve the whole of me. But in February and March, I found myself staring at a fast-approaching end to a certain season and I started asking myself what would come next. I could see time expanding, opening up, ready for something new, and still I craved something familiar.

Quiet does something really good for my soul. It clears the noise, settles the wrestling around in me, and helps me tune into myself and the living Spirit inside me. In mid-March, I was headed into a week of travel and my plans were shifting, opening up some space for solitude and silence. I gathered some loose instruction from a trusted professor in my grad school program to help guide me through a day alone. I’ll be honest, nothing incredibly profound came to me in that day alone, but it did quiet some extra noise inside of me, cleared my mind, and tuned me into the Spirit’s voice.

Just a couple of days later, I was standing in my dear friend’s wedding, looking around at all the beauty - the property, the people, the sky and trees, and the flowers. Puncturing through my own thoughts, I heard in myself “I can do this. I know how all these flowers are arranged and I am gifted at it. I can do this.” It was a confidence I’ve not really had before in this little business. But the clarity of the thought was so obvious to me and it put to rest the questions of what was coming next and I knew, my next right thing is to step back into the business and help create beautiful spaces.

I walked right up to Chad after the ceremony and said, “I think its time to start the business again; will you do it with me?” And let me tell you, the beam of delight that flooded his face was all I needed to affirm that I had heard correctly and it truly was time to start again. Within just a couple days, he was making phone calls, reinstating the business license, following up on other paperwork, and I was reaching out to friends to do branding.

I rarely operate like this - making decisions quickly and taking action just as fast. I am slow. I move slowly, I think slowly, and I like to take my time thinking through all the options and weighing everything out. But there was a peace that came with this decision that I couldn’t ignore and that allowed me to take action in a way that isn’t always like me. I attribute this ability to that one day alone, in the quiet, settling my internal noise level. It cleared the space inside me to quickly hear, discern, and obey the Spirit’s prompting in me.

There is a lot more to the story; pieces I hope to share in the coming weeks and months as I settle into this space again. But one key thing is that I want to do all this space differently than I did the last time. I have changed a lot in the last three years and the way I operate and move in the world is different. I want to approach this space from rest not hustle, from generosity not attaining more, from quiet not creating more noise. I want to work with people who care deeply about marriage, not just a wedding, who want to celebrate not just show off, and who delight in beautiful things not just look good online.

This space, this business, is a gift that has been given to me to steward well. It is mine to use well, to care for well, and to care for others through it well. I am in no hurry, but I am excited to see it grow. Just like the flowers.